With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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