Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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