what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
