4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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