Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
