C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
