he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
