I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
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SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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