I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Randomize
