you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I need to calm my uterus...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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