is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is Oprah even human
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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