This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just gargled with NyQuil
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
