Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
