Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
