Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i've created a new STD.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
