Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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