I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
