just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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