i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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