my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
