He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
