We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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