I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
