is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
