ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize