Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
