My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
