Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The air taste purple.
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