I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
