They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
