Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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