Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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