too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
