obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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