so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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