Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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