I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
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he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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