Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
