My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize