party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
please come you make the beer taste better
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
