Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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