operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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