they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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