So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
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And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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