Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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