Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
