Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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