I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize