the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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