she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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