You made me cry and you don't even care
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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