I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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