He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
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I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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