Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
