beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
