I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
