After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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