Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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