dude i'm inner monologue high
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize