I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
