Christians are straight up FREAKS
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
